‘Its easy for you’, said a friend. ‘You go about teaching others, you sing in concerts, you are outgoing. You must be born self confident or something’. No, No, no, I replied smiling at all these misconceptions.
I was actually quite a shy kid growing up. And I had many, many awful childhood experiences which will make you shiver if I told you about them. Another time I might! For now its enough to know: I wasn’t born with self confidence. Its an acquired skill. I want to share a few things you can do to get that self confidence.
But first, why should you even remotely consider getting self-confident? How does that help you? Is that even necessary? Do women need to be self-confident? What’s self-confidence anyway? Here is my take:
1. Self-confidence makes you rely on yourself. Come what may, you have that unshakable belief in yourself that no one can take away. In a world that’s constantly filled with external pressures and stresses, doesn’t it feel good to know that you always have you as your best friend?
2. Self-confidence gives you integrity. You tend to not look for ways to trick others to getting what you want. In fact the thought doesn’t even strike you as a possible way to lead life. Since you are sure of yourself, you make requests of others coming from a place of grounded self-confidence. You make requests in a straightforward manner. It makes dealing a pleasure. I’ve had people tell me: “Its so rare.-what you have. This direct quality, a straightforward way, an innocence in dealing with others.. I just love this about you”. We all seek integrity in our daily lives. Whether in our business dealings, or in our relationships, we like to be with those we can trust. Having self-confidence makes us trustworthy and increases our integrity. Increase self-confidence, integrity will automatically increase making you successful in business and your other relationships.
3. Self-confidence makes you attractive. Whoever comes in your presence enjoys you and knows that you enjoy them just for who they are. No other ulterior motives, just the pure joy of hanging out with another. I’ve always wondered about whether I’ve been able to help my friends. I used to seek out my best friend a lot when I had a serious setback in life. When I divorced and my life seemed to be crumbling around me. She made time to chat with me every single day. Even telling her family that while she was too busy to take calls from others. But if I called she would run to the phone to give me some much needed friend-to-friend therapy sessions. I asked her what she got out of this. And this is what she had to say “I learn so much from you. You are so inspiring and have so much self-confidence even though you are going through such a tough patch in life. I would always be there for you”. Wouldn’t you like to have that quality in life that makes you so attractive to others that they want to be around you even when you are in a low spot in life 🙂
4. Self-confidence is for everyone!. In my culture, sometimes women like to say ‘I’m not confident’. They take pride in mistakenly believing that women who are under confident are more womanly. Far from the truth! In fact, When a woman is confident in herself, her femininity and womanliness increase. Everyone who comes in contact with her has a sense of being in the presence of a grounded person. It makes for a joyful and playful contact. It is truly sweet as the pressure of expectation is taken off the other person. Especially in a relationship with a significant other. The other person doesn’t have to feel ‘Oh dear, I have to take all the emotional responsibility in the relationship, for myself and for her’. They can just be themselves as you carve a beautiful space for them to just be themselves by being yourself. I’ve had guys tell me, your most attractive quality is your self-confidence, even though I never thought of myself being that way.
5. Self-confidence is spiritual. On one of the local retreats I went for, we tried to fathom what it meant. This answer just blew me away and stayed with me..Self-confidence is having faith in God. I LOVE this. Having faith is self-confidence. Whether you believe in an outer god, or something inside of you that’s powerful and gives you direction in life, you’ve gotta love this statement.
Now to body work. Here’s my yoga pose for increasing self-confidence which I taught my class last Friday. As we move to warmer weather everyone likes their arms to be toned. Dolphin increases the strength and beauty of your arms, legs and upper body. Dolphin opens the shoulders and upper back, muscles that get very tight. It also builds core strength which has to do with self-confidence. If you’ve ever taken a group fitness class at the gym, you’re familiar with the “Work your core” talk. Its your gut, your core, your abs, that space in your abdomen which houses an energy center of yoga called the Manipura chakra. Apsara tip If your hamstrings are tight it will be challenging to press the chest back while keeping straight legs so bend your knees slightly.
The body equivalent of the manipura chakra is the solar plexus. It’s the fire in your belly that helps you digest. Keep the fire stoked by giving it food that’s fresh, nourishing and life giving. Feed it food that has positive vibrations such as grains, nuts, seeds and vegetables. Try Yogi salad for a fresh feed to your body via the manipura chakra.
hope you enjoyed this post where i shared a multi-dimensional way to look at self-confidence, via the mind, body and soul(food).